Cougars, Nougars, Sex and Marriage

While I am totally aware of the term cougar, I today found out there is a new species in town, a Nougar, which apparently stands for New Cougar and refers to women in their early to mid 30's, which is on average about 10 years younger than the average cougar, refuses to grow up, or take dating too seriously and thinks that because she's still living like a 20-something she might as well go out with one, too.


Today's vocabulary and categorizing of peoples life choices makes a person wary about letting anyone know too much about their private life, if you are past 30 and dating a younger guy this is your box, if you are over 40 and dating a younger guy here is your box, if you are over 50...what is their category? the "past sell by date" ? I mean isn't age just a number?

At what age do we have to stop enjoying our life? and does it matter what age our partner of the moment is?
some women by 30 may have already endured marriage and now either are divorced, with kids, or maybe they are career minded , no kids, not wanting to settle down. 

In today's society women are empowered to take their life into their own hands, be responsible, and gone are the days of subservience to men and their needs in a narrow minded marriage.

But still while men can screw around either on their wives or girlfriends, and called studs , women continue to be categorized as a slut, loose, a cougar, a nougar, always inferring that its all about sex, Men can get away with it but women cant!

More and more I am hearing women wanting sex as much as men, gone are the days of the infamous headache and not in the mood ...in fact those words seem to come from men more than women anymore.I think because women now have much more power over their own lives they are enjoying sex more and want it more, because the 60's idealism of women and their role in sex (lie back and think of England) in other words you have no choices, if your husband wants sex, then he gets it, is gone..we live in a more balanced society and women take control.

But does this mean that men will lose his gentlemanly trend, quit opening doors, quit taking care of his woman, quit being polite and respectful? I realize that even now there are those guys that do not give women respect anyway.

But really what is the future of Marriage and relationships? is marriage dying out in favor of more disposable ideals? and for those of us who are married maybe not on our first marriage , are we destined to always be looking for the younger model? is that what men are doing when they leer after that leggy, skinny blonde that just walked past? and I don't know about you but if my husband does that I wonder what he is thinking when he does it? and how inferior it makes me feels and insecure..wonder if he would still do it if he knew that it did that to me, and if I'm leering after a younger guy how would it make him feel?

Do we really think a younger model is going to be the answer? and if it is the answer why is it the answer? what is going wrong in our present circumstances to make us even think in that direction? maybe that's what needs exploring, and not just a trade in.

No marriage is perfect, everything takes work, sometimes such hard work you do wonder if its worth it.. and maybe for some it isn't if both partners are doing their very best.

And maybe for some, the younger models help them feel good about themselves.I don't know all the whys and what nots.

I just know that society should quit categorizing people, and allow them to do what makes them happy.

If being Mrs Robinson, makes you happy then go for it and fuck what anyone says.

Its your Life, so go live it!

Laters